This is Texas. Federal laws are for other states.

Also: You're gonna want to skip around, because it's 7 minutes and you need to get to other pressing news like reading other stupid websites. Resist this urge, it must be watched in real time to be appreciated fully.

I saw this when it first came out years ago. It was and is one of the most amazing things I've ever seen.

I have to disagree. As a black person who, for a time, could not pick up a single book without encountering some throw-away line disparaging black people or using the N-word—even in books that HAD no black characters or where the terms and comments had absolutely nothing to do with the plot—being forced to…

Yes, that's exactly what makes what Buress did so powerful and why it quickly became so viral. They say the best comedy has a grain of truth that we are painfully uncomfortable with. The best jokes are those that tap into the secret things we think but don't want to say. Buress NAILED that.

Okay, real life dilemma.

Are you also working on your night cheese?

This actually looks really good and it's a great cast, will see.

I called my husband, who was at a group meeting for grad school (fucking group projects), absolutely sobbing. "Come home. I'm pregnant." And then I cried for two weeks more.

I expect more from a platypus.

Stages of my reaction to this video (Kinja formatting is going to mess this up but whatever):

All I got from that video is that he really, really likes the color orange and that he might not know what a platypus is.

So a pretty common troll retort around these parts is 'why don't you do something to help people out in real life instead of just complaining on the internet?' I've seen some variation of this cry tons of times over the years. I literally just got a response along this line last week.

It would probably be less of an everyday topic if morons weren't actively campaigning to have it taught in schools as a "possibility" with equal merit as the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

because he's wrong?

So let me get this straight. These people don't believe in evolution because it doesn't work like it does on the Pokemon cartoon?

Commenter Who Is Ripping Off Funnier Commenters Comments And Continues To Beat The Hell Out Of A Dead Horse Upset That Tosh Supposedly Rips Off Other Peoples Content And Is Upset About ESPN Ripping Off His Content

Gawker ran with it, apparently.

Are you fucking kidding me? This is the normal speed video???! Okay, so he's guilty of a few poor lane changes and passing on the right. I don't see any flagrant speed or reckless driving present here, dude even stops for (most) red lights. Honestly this seems to be a safer pace then 75% of New York's traffic.