HEY. It takes a special kind to destroy porcelain bathtubs.

This of course makes me think that Bannon is, unlike our body compositions of water, his is muriatic acid

Also, it’s sad that we’re reduced to our representatives. If you believed Christie immediately post-Sandy, we were just a rollercoaster in the ocean. The thought that my state where i was born, raised, raised my child evokes that asshole and Snooki, trust me, i knowsomething about caricatures vs. reality.

You fall into the decent online people i haven’t had the pleasure to meet. Sadly, the ones i do know, including the relatives i have there, are the ones who fit the cartoon stereotypes of What’s Wrong With Florida. I’m a Sandy survivor andtrust me, I get it. Displaced for well over a year, demolished and rebuilt, with…

You fall into the group of decent online people. Decent Floridians in my offline life are my unicorn

They could have gone into 54 carriers and gtfo but i guess that might have been too simple

When Texas got hit, remember, their representatives voted against Sandy relief as well. But I found it within myself to say, “Fuck it, those reps do not speak for the whole of Texans,” and I made a cash donation to a charity.

Florida? With the exception of some people I only know online who are cool, the only people I…

Limbaugh should’ve doubled down and locked himself in a goddamned “dishwasher”.

In other news: The manager of the Hemingway House, unless she’s got an undisclosed medical condition and this is how she’s choosing to go out (since assisted suicide isn’t legal in FL), should’ve been Baker Acted for staying. She’s not a…

NOW HEY THERE

That sounds more like mesothelioma, and you MIGHT be entitled to damages, but not from me!

Oh wow, I wish I would have known this sooner. Then I’d have PPSO, Pre-Peaceful Stress Order! It’s all about how I could’ve/should’ve/would’ve! Yay!

You better not have emphysema and this better not be a threat. ;)

I hope it’s that very same phone he’s holding to his face after shoving it down his trousers.

My front loader washing machine took on water as well. Hell, everything did. The only things salvageable were things stored in those big ass plastic bins. Cardboard boxes in the attic had wilted and were growing mold.

Enslave, you say?

WAIT WHAT YOU MEAN PUTTING GRANDMOTHER’S WEDDING PHOTO FROM 1930 WON’T MAGICALLY WARD OFF THE EVIL WATERS

If there had ever been a time for professional wrestling and politics to have teamed up (I don’t mean Linda McMahon with a government position, or DJT being in the WWE Hall of Fame), it should have been Michelle Obama teaming up with Rowdy Roddy Piper. No one would have given her any shit then.

Florida: “We need help besides thoughts and prayers”

Everyone else: “It is insensitive to people who are sending thoughts and prayers”

A lie and saying “that looks great.”
A mouthful tried, stuffed into a cheek like a squirrel, then spat out on the sly like a prison psych patient mouthing meds.

Then, you set a silent alarm to wake up, oh, say, 3am. Because you had “a craving for it, it woke you up.”

And you “accidentally” leave it on the counter. It…

CRUZCEPTION