The Orioles are dealing with this issue every day, where imposters somehow get field and game access in full uniform.

I quit freshman football in high school a couple weeks in when a coach rode me non stop for my blocking. I’ve never had any patience for abuse but unfortunately it took me until my forties to realize indifference was just as toxic.

My 4 year old son literally said this last night, damn near to the word. Paw Patrol to the rescue!

It’s too high. It’s too hard. Who gives a shit, it’s gone!

God... I’ve watched so much Paw Patrol. And, yeah, Trump’s thinking is very small child.

He applies “why don’t they make the whole plane out of the black box?” reasoning to literally everything.

Tgia was a long, but enjoyable, way to say “The President is an idiot."

I know it’s a supporting role, but I’d add Michael Palin in Brazil to this list.  His affable, everyman dental torture artist created major cognitive dissonance for this young Pythons fan.

That Porcello 2 hour and 15 minute game against the Yankees was like the Twilight Zone. Yanks/Sox games are NEVER that quick.

Christ, last night’s game hit the 2:15 mark in like the 4th inning. Ugh.

There was a 15 inning stretch over Friday and Saturday where a Red Sox pitcher threw less than 13 pitches in each frame.

Why? I have a theory, but it is irritating and self-aggrandizing and I’m not yet drunk enough to think people might be interested in hearing it.

Given the way Porcello and Price have been pitching this year, they’re perfectly cromulent 2nd and 3rd starters for the postseason.

Also, solid work by The Onion here:

Every animal dies. Not every animal truly lives.

I think SB Nation and Vox are getting a little bit careless here. You can’t be giving this degree of instructions to “contractors” without risking that down the road some judge might reclassify them as employees and order you to give them all the back pay they were denied. True contractors, by law, have to get a lot…

Caught it at the 10? A slow, lumbering guy like that? Gotta let that bounce in the endzone and pick up the extra yardage. The Belichick I know would have them running gassers for such a blatant mental screwup. 

A cranky old-timer complaining about the modern game? What are the odds?

Long outing -- probably not available today.