I would like to eliminate half-yards.

If there’s one thing consistent about Patriots gameplans through all personnel changes, it’s that they always play better in the second half. They make good adjustments.

Besides, if Garoppolo was still there, he’d be a backup who hadn’t started half the season and proven he’s starter quality, so we’d be saying he can’t win a Super Bowl either!

Somehow I doubt in that alternate reality everyone is calmly saying “don’t worry about Brady, Garoppolo will be fine.”

It is the ghost of the proverbial Golden Goose, come to beg for forgiveness.

Thank you!

I can’t think of anything I’d miss in the morning that would prompt sending cops to check on me by that afternoon.

You know how Project Veritas tries to put out bait to broadly discredit anyone who bites? This is no better.

Hypothetically, if some coach, we’ll call that coach Bill, told his quarterback, who we’ll call Tom, to drop down to buy time for backup reps, then half of Deadspin would be screaming for Bill and Tom’s lifelong suspensions.

I’d like to point out to all the Seahawks fans that the Jags completed a TD pass from the 1 yard line.

Glad I’m not the only one questioning it.

The mini-map might be the funniest part.

but they’re applying an athlete law to exercise their drug hatred. I’m just wondering how far that wording should go - who’s an athlete subject to their views? Why do gamers get included?

Would people need an athletic license to compete in a Magic the Gathering tournament? Chess tournament? Cosplay competition?

Tell that to Logan.

There’s an old saying,

On the other hand, it makes me look at Starkiller Base and ask where were Blue Squad, all the bombers, and that giant freakin’ capital ship for the resistance’s most important battle to date???

The alternative?

Is it wrong that I completely forgot they won a game last season? I sort of assumed they had gone 0-16 before. My bad.

Should slamming the gameball into the ground be considered a “natural outburst”? Is there another sport that does that to their equipment?