My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

Y'know, I thought I had mono once for an entire year. Turns out I was just really bored.

Should’ve kept him away from Joe Namath.

Tiki and Ronde Barber (SPOILER: they harness the power of family and hard work to achieve their dreams)

Kid’s just lucky he didn’t show up in Philly with the wrong jersey.

Security experts have confirmed that it only took the offender three attempts to break the account’s password: GUMBOGUMBOGUMBO

and especially nautious to side with someone with such poor grammar

Man Injures Throwing Hand Throwing Hands.

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.

Steelers fans like him again now

This read like a article in an anthropological journal about some uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. 

They did not recognize Scott as a member of the Philadelphia 76ers and instead appeared to view him simply as a large man of opposing color attempting to start trouble at an Eagles tailgate.

“That’s like re-segregating the country, why would we want that? Besides of course the reasons Tucker Carlson and I lay out every night.”

I wish we could punish fans like these, but they are already Browns fans.

“That fan’s conduct was a perfectly reasonable reaction to the obviously threatening behavior by #26.”

They should have told the Kent State administration to fuck off and kept playing. I mean, what are they gonna do about it, call in the National Guard?

I just hope Jalen Ramsey said, “You should be scared of me too, bitch” to him after

Having never been touched like that by a woman before, it was all he could do to prematurely eject her.

Lawyer: We’re going to get to the bottom of this.

God, I couldn’t imagine how embarrassing that must have been. I mean, being identified as, “RealMarlinsFan”? Just kill me.