Counter-point: not enough poor people of every ilk vote and that sad, hateful and maniacally-driven group of Republicans continue to win elections in some (many?) places by simply showing up.

It’s your mouse button failing. It happened to me for a while, then a $12 mouse cured it instantly.

I’m glad I’ve got a long position on rope futures.

You mean the weeklong “investigation” where they didn’t interview the victim was a whitewash?

While you’re there, please tell R. Kelly to go fuck himself.

I mean, Duh!, roided up 6'4" Ben Affleck’s in rehab so they saved on makeup, too.

I am absolutely certain that I never had a drop of my mother’s breast milk (and its essential, evolutionarily-developed acquired immunity) because of the CC’s sex-shaming via her Catholic school upbringing by nuns who were mean bitches and likely fucked-up priests. The idea that one can serve God best by being…

You forgot the part where he acknowledges that very few people have the ability to completely subvert their sexual natures into wholly positive endeavors, and that men who can barely (if they can) keep their hands off the altar boys have no place in marriage counselling.

The magic is still too weak to get rid of the gluten, though.

He has, however, been very forgiving of his homosexual priests.

But the job title for such statistical modelling certainly matters as the percentage of women who can lift heavy boxes for hours on end as well as the average man is definitely miniscule.

I knew I shouldn’t have put “Object of Women’s Lust” on my resume.

Dammit and a hearty, heartfelt thank you!

I would imagine that the planet would make it nearly impossible for the sub-moon to stay moored to the moon (i.e. it would get yanked out of the moon’s orbit).

Followed by horrors of Gettitsburg.

Well, I don’t remember seeing a chunky Miss America.

More like, “Suffered the same fate as Skinemax”: death by internet porn.

Professor of Veterinary, specialist in Camel Podiatry, I nearly see.

I don’t care to belong to any club that would have me as a member.
— Groucho Marx