For reference, Elon Musk said he could build a colony on Mars for $10 billion.

The only result I support:

They took all my roads and shared them with everybody else.

Umpire Tosses Dick Who Argued Balls And Strikes; Tossed Ball Strikes Umpire’s Dick And Balls

Here’s another truth: Carolina (also) lost. The McAllisters are having a rough weekend and I’m totally here for it.

The cruelty is the point. This is the boot stomping down on a face forever.

Did you really think I don’t already get BK coupons?

Here is the cash grab example I always use. The cost to park during the last season at Shea Stadium was $10 per car. The cost the next season, the first at Citi Field, was $20 per car, now up to $25. A 100% increase to park in the same fucking lot.

This is a well-written, nuanced, and absolutely terrible take.

You’re right, coach. When I think “accountability,” I think Michigan State.

“I don’t know what kind of business you’re in, but I tell ya what, if I was a head of a newspaper, and you didn’t do your job, you’d be held accountable.”

I will take any ray of hope that we’ll be seeing my boy Kyle again.

I come here because Gawker is dead, but it really is no replacement.  

This guy legitimately fucking sucks. We get that you are bored with your life Beto, a lot of us are, but just hurry up and go become the cool hip youth pastor you so desperately want to be.

Hercules Capital

I think the most hilarious thing about this entire episode is how entirely avoidable it is. If you see something funny posted on twitter and you’re Barstool, just repost it with the twitter users handle or whatever somewhere in the post. Is your traffic going to grind to a halt because people all of a sudden think you…

Between Barstool getting slapped and Nick Foles becoming a Jaguar it’s been an interesting week for three-legged sports figures.

Hmm... tough to narrow down:

If you are minimizing a failure to protect children you are a bad person- full stop.