It’s stuff like this that makes me skeptical about Aaron Rodgers as far as a human being. He’s an insanely gifted athlete, no doubt about that. But you’re complaining b/c you think you have a reliable strategy for winning a coin flip?

“Stealing is bad, but sometimes you don’t own something. This shit was particularly cool, so I regret nothing.”

No punctuation. Check.

I didn’t know Gronk read Deadspin.

unlike weed you would need to smoke a whole “blunt” of it to get high

[takes massive, extended rip of synthetic weed off of hyperbolically giant bong that stands two stories tall and starts typing feverishly]: “I know a lot about that stuff they call it “k2" now a days younger people are starting to roll it up like weed and smoke it the reason is because its cheaper than regular weed a…

Yup...This definitely sounds like a guy who knows a lot about synthetic weed.
I’m sorry, meant, “Sounds like a a guy who’s smoked a ton of bath salts.” My bad.

Not a single comma. That put holes in my brain.

Costco booze is made by respected boozemakers. Kirkland vodka, bourbon and scotch are made by Grey Goose, Jim Beam and Macallan.

My question - How the hell did Uncle Rico make enough money to buy an NFL team? Although it would explain his inability to gauge QB talent.

Wait.

You know that metaphor about people sweeping really shitty things under a rug? This is sort of like that.

Look, I’m with you, everything about this is awful, and the fact that thousands of women put up with this shit every day is infuriating. But it’s not rape. It’s something else. Coercion, inappropriate, gut wrenching, not condonable. But not rape.

“Was I raped?”

Dear Blair Walsh,

You are handsome. Don’t worry. It’s just a game.

Not anymore. She switched classes.

He was really smart to be born the son of a guy who owned a team, died, and left it to him. That’s first class business acumen right there.

This reminds me of the scene in Shawshank Redemption when Hadley is pissed that he’s inherited money from his brother because he might have to pay taxes on it.

This is ridiculous. There’s no way Mike Brown would think that way. Obviously he opposes the Rams moving to Los Angeles because of the increased cost of jet fuel to fly the team to California rather than just to St. Louis.