I'm gonna split early and try and make all of Happy Hour down the street. $5 pitchers y'all, let's drown our minimal but increased awareness of pervasive and systemic racism 'til Tuesday! Woo!

I'm sure there's a series of charts somewhere in southern California explaining exactly how long her current schtick will draw in the pedophile market, after which time that will probably happen.

I saw one somewhere on this here internet that used pictures of J-Law and Emma Watson and it came out looking like a human. I can imagine that's not easy, tho.

Kevin Bacon didn't think his naked penis was going to be such a "big deal."

Have you every picked up a Playboy? I sincerely doubt anybody buys it for anything BUT the articles.

The few, the proud, the pants-stain-having.

My favorite piece of Churchill apocrypha relates to this: Winnie walks in to the men's room and sees Labour PM Earl Attlee at one end of the row of urinals. He goes to piss at the opposite end. Attlee jokes that nobody who served in the Navy can be that homophobic, to which Churchill replies "Not at all, but every…

Over-rated, is what it feels like. Ask for an old-fashioned, much easier to calibrate to your junk's specific needs, and it's pretty impossible for the giver to fuck up in any serious or painful way (unless they've been reading Cosmo, but as that insanity shows, you really have to go to lengths to make a handjob…

So, testicular torsion style?

Because evolution has no teleos. If it hasn't stopped people from reproducing yet, evolution will not make it go away. Like old age and underarm hair.

Yeah, no, there is.

Depends on the pants you're wearing.

Thank you! I appreciate it. It is a very touchy and personal subject for, well, everyone involved, because our understanding of our ability to stay clean is so closely tied to our ideological understanding of addiction that people (myself very much included) tend to take to the ramparts to defend their views, but I…

Thanks for sharing- my drug of choice was speed (which involved pretty much anything stronger than Sudafed, but guess what my favorite flavor was), so much internet hug. I know what it's like to miss that feeling. But I don't like this idea where we conflate actions with feelings. The compulsive spectrum and the…

It creates a mentality where relapsing is essentially OK, because your addiction is something that's always there and part of you and just happened to get the drop on you this time. The number of people who "quit" thanks to AA only to become binge drinkers instead of daily drinkers using this logic to excuse…

As someone who's struggled with addiction myself and within my family, I find the idea that just because something may well be a life-long struggle doesn't make it a pathology which is as intrinsic to you as your own humanity, and further that this idea can be very harmful to the recovery process. I don't want to…

Not for nearly a century now, but there have been. Although secularly-motivated attempts to suppress people's homosexuality continued (albeit almost only in fringe circles) into the early '70's, it was pretty commonly agreed that such a thing was, even if desirable, definitely impossible to accomplish by as early as…

You never stop being an addict. You never stop being an alcoholic. You can overcome the abuse, but that's something different.

Only the actual slogan feels that was to me. The made-up ones are perfectly pleasant. Can we get Gawker Media on some PSAs, STAT?

Optimism is irrational in these circumstances.