The problem with Coldplay is that their one song is terrible.

I love how Prince was downplaying his basketball skills while trash talking Charlie haha.

She was quite Smart, but also Insecure, and sometimes flaky (I was her supervisor, and she was often late or a no show). But generally engaging, and a friendly and caring person. I was both shocked at her adult career, but also not surprised somehow at the same time, however that works.

This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

Ok now l don’t feel like such a weirdo for having a massive crush on a cartoon fox.

I assume you’re in a situation where you’re so excited to have sex with John Stamos that you just pull his pants down and have sex as soon as humanly possible? And then afterwards he’s looking out at the window, just thinking about the joy of being alive and looks back at you meaningfully, as if it so say “thank you…

STOP ASKING QUESTIONS AND APPRECIATE THE AMAZING GIFT WE’VE BEEN GIVEN.

I hope she just literally peed on him because he’s the worst.

I would comment on the nature of his article itself, but I knew he was a world class bullshitter when he humble-bragged that on his very first trip to the snackateria, he managed to make his partner squirt.

Please direct credit for this amazing article directly to Mr. Obvious.

How in the heck does this not violate HIPAA?

I take my coffee like I take my women. Ground up, Peruvian, and in the freez—

The Pope’s visit convinced Boehner to become the sacrificial Christ allegory for an unworthy Republican party, who’ve given themselves over to the sins of hardline neoconservative idiocy. But with any luck, the Republicans will shut down the government anyway, and lose what few morsels of faith the public still had in…