I wish it had been a well thought out con to avoid the cafe but sadly, no. Mochageddon was me actually trying very hard to do a good job! Also there were no managers watching this exchange to then pull me from cafe shifts in the future. Believe me, if there was someone watching this debacle they would have stepped in…

In college I worked at Borders. I mainly worked on the sales floor but they trained everyone in the cafe so we could help cover breaks or pick up extra shifts if needed. That’s when I discovered that I am the literally world’s worst barista. I once had to cover a half hour lunch break for someone on a super slow day.…

I hated Garden State back before it was cool to hate Garden State. Does that make me an anti-hipster hipster?

little kids fall asleep in swings all the time. I know if I was just at the park for an hour and paying attention to my own kids I might not notice anything was wrong, just another kid who dozed off during a leisurely swing. Also they were at the park for 44 hours and we don’t know if she was swinging him the whole…

I never worked in food service but while 8 1/2 months pregnant and working in retail I had a religious incident. I finished ringing up a customer’s purchase and as I handed him his bag & receipt he reached over the counter, held my right hand and put his other hand on my belly, then bowed his head and prayed for mu…

Always research your artist!!! If you see someone with good work on them ask where they had it done. I have 4 tattoos. My first 2 were walk ins with no research and *surprise* they turned out kinda crappy. The second two were from artists that came with extensive portfolios and recommendations. One of them actually…

My daughter watches a British cartoon called Peppa Pig. She started using all of the little Britishisms and pronunciations. Zoe Zebra became Zeh-bra, Pedro(Peh-droh) Pony got a “PLAH-sta CAH-st when he broke his leg, Grandad Dog drives a lorry, they eat ice lollies. Its fun!

I’m wearing blue/teal mermaid eyeshadow with a teal dress right fucking now! COME AT ME BRO!

Is she interviewing every straight couple that walks through the clerks office to find out if they are following the bible in their relationships? Does she not issue marriage licenses to couples who live in sin or have babies out of wedlock? A marriage license is not a relationship license. Her signature does not…

My daughter’s daycare had all parents sign a sunscreen waiver at the beginning of spring when they started doing more outdoor play and it got warmer. However, it think this was less about “touching” than it was about chemicals and skin issues. Parents who need their kids to use special types of sunscreen needed to…

Her concerned smile remindes me of a disappointed parent. She has that look that says “I love you and I know you’re better than this.” And his reaction says the same thing. The moment he realized she wasn’t just any old judge but a childhood friend - she knew him when he was better, when neither of them could imagine…

Oh yeah, Mel! I bought Pocahantas for my daughter, turned it on while making dinner, and almost dropped a casserole dish on the floor when I heard his voice as John Smith. I had totally forgotten he voiced that movie and felt sick that I’d somehow indirectly given money to that antisemitic wife beating fuckhelmet!

Ugh, I can see this exact situation unfolding with my daughter and my ex. He’s mostly MIA and is only now trying to get back a relationship with her because it was Fathers Day and her birthday is around the corner and he’s getting massive amounts of shit from his parents about being a lousy sack of shit father to his…

I always wanted kids. I was a mothering type from age 2, helping to take care of and baby other kids and my little sister. It was just always in the cards for me. Married and pregnant at 30 after graduating and working on career stuff first. Now I’m single-momming it cuz my ex decided that he prioritized new pussy and…

OMG I ADORE SHORT GUYS!!! Just knowing that Kit is a slender, toned, adorable 5’6” sex-nymph man makes him so much hotter to me!

I feel the same way when people talk about abortion alternatives. “If you have an unintended pregnancy and you can’t care for the child don’t get an abortion, just give it up for adoption!” Like its just that freaking simple. You carry a child for 9 months, go through all of the medical issues & financial burden…

Oh yeah? well my ex-husband cheated on me when I was pregnant and unemployed AND when I was the sole bread winner and he was staying at home “working” on his “photography.” WHAT’S YOUR PRECIOUS STUDY HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT, HUH!?! #notbitter

All this study says to me is “hey ladies, be thankful for that income inequality thingy! it’s the only thing keeping your husband’s dick from escaping his slightly emasculated pants and fucking his way to divorce court!”

I worked as a florist for a long time! There are come community colleges with agriculture/ horticulture/ floriculture programs to teach the basics of floral design and floral/plant knowledge. Also there is a ton of customer interaction. You are talking to people and finding out what they like, what their…

I used to work in a flower shop off an on for about 10 years. I never once had a guy buy me flowers during that time. I once asked my boyfriend why he didn’t get me flowers and he said that since I work with them all day it wouldn’t mean as much. True - I was particular about flowers and would probably have been…