Every time I fuck your mom up her saggy poop chute, it’s like therapy. That’s why I charge her a couple hundy. It helps her to talk through the embarrassment you are to her, so I figure I’m doing a good deed.

That your mom takes it up the ass like a champ, and your the manifestation of the slurry that dribbles out (herein before dubbed the Santorum)

No, she shit out a slurry of diarrhea like you, so that’s true.

How do you think I met you mom?

Your mom and her intestines do. I fuck her raw and we talk what a disappointment you are to her. Everything you’d expect ...

Much like my cock meets your mother’s ass so she isn’t thrown out on the street.

Who gave Corky from Life Goes On a keyboard?

Like shooting fish in a barrel ...

Can’t they just bronze him at the end of the last Countdown show and have his statue permanently on the set? That way, he can continue to add the same level of pertinent insight as the previous 38 fucking torturous years.

Congratulations. You’ve Made America Great Again.

He was just one rape away from pulling off the Kobe Hat Trick last night. Guess we’ll find out this morning if he truly went out with a bang ...

But wait, isn’t Nick Denton a “truth absolutist”? Nothing screams truth like a verdict. Gawker must be having IT problems or something. Gawker’s integrity is above reproach, after all.