I WISH. My cats are much prettier than I am!

Also:

I knew people eventually started looking like their dogs but I didn’t know they also eventually start to resemble their cats.

Tangentially related:

these anti amazon articles would have a lot more weight if you couldnt find ‘kinja amazon deals of the day!!’ on the same page

Oregon Trail, 2015 edition: “you have died of bubonic plague”

I can’t blame him because I know how much God cares about high school football.

This makes no sense.

This story is bringing out the absolute worst in anyone.

He's not reading it at all. Reading the bible is one of the surest ways to become an atheist.

I will never understand the group prayer before sports thing, unless you go to a religious private school.

I ain’t sayin she’s a gold digger...

And it depends why you dislike them too. I have a good friend whose husband frequently bores all of us to (well concealed) tears, but who is essentially a good guy. To that I say each to their own.

Yeah - if there are 7 guys in a friend group, and 6 of them are major douchecanoes, I find it hard to believe that the other guy will be a total sweetie.

For me, having a SO who has friends I don’t like isn’t a dealbreaker. People don’t always get along, and shouldn’t be forced to. So long as it isn’t ALL of their friends. EVERYSINGLEONEOFYOUISANASSHOLE may be a pretty clear sign that that person is not right for you.

Yeah, it gave me a dry butthole as well, but i just put coconut oil on it. NOW, IT’S ALL OVER and i’m clear.

Can I just smoke some weed and drink some bourbon and call it a day.

I don’t believe any of that shit. wash, moisturize, that’s it