Best lowkey, melancoly strippers. Sloths will show your loved one the respect they deserved.

My fiancee would have loved pole dancers at his funeral. It would have comforted me while I was dealing with his ex wife, the Westboro Baptist Church Protesters, and family members who reeked of weed during the service. The Color Guard was awesome.

True story: I did military Honors for a woman who was in the marine corps in ww2. She ended up being a colonel. Can you imagine how tough that means she was? All veterans plaque thingys look the same. They have name, rank, service, years of birth and death, and a quote. Hers was, hand to god, “it’s five o’clock…

I hope I don’t have to wait until my funeral to have a bunch of male strippers.

It’s interesting to watch how two sets of conservative values clash in China, and how both of them pretty much amount to disrespect of women.

What counts as a genetic disorder? Keep in mind this is China we’re talking about. The nation that doesn’t like people speaking out against its government. Or feminism. Or anyone who’s not Chinese.

This is being overhyped. From the Engadget article:

You know, I felt bad for thinking “Of course the girls from Portland don’t wear any make-up and have weird bangs and a Goodwill sweater”. Felt really bad then told myself they were still very pretty women. Then I read what they said and I don’t feel so bad.

I need more stars for this. I was like, “Did you give her an umbrella hat when she left? Cuz girlfriend needs sun protection, nitwit.”

Jadine said it was because she did not put a moisturizer with sunscreen on before the foundation, which was the number one reason makeup can feel heavy.

The Federal Tort Claims Act allows individuals to sue the US goverment for tortious harm. You don’t have to be a citizen to sue the US. If someone acting on behalf of the US government instigated this process, they are definitely on the hook. FYI!

I feel like every time I read one of these my main take away is that like no one wears makeup on a regular basis or really knows about makeup—is it a requirement for the people participating in this to never really wear makeup?

Mexican apology

“The judge denied a request for a DNA test”

Xanax and an airplane g&t

No worries! I’m in SoCal, and I was talking about a woman from my area.

And family. If your organization’s name mentions family, 10-1 you oppose the making of families featuring more or fewer than one adult penis, and you’re OK with children going hungry if their parents can’t or won’t earn enough money to get by without social assistance.