No one ever asks me where anything is anymore because of Mel Brooks. Also, I ended a blind date because the guy called Mel Brooks a hack and said that he did not care for the Golden Girls. That’s too much bullshit to take all in one shot like that.

The real question is not “What is this outfit?” but rather “How does this beautiful goddess witch look this spectacular at the age of 47 in this outfit?”

I would wear all of these. I have birthed two children and have not made time to exercise ok. STOP JUDGING ME!

I also want to say that I also wear a lot of these styles and I believe this entire post to be a violent subtweet

It feels like someone tossed a cleaver into your lower abdomen from a relatively close distance and began twisting it clockwise, then counter-clockwise, along with the accompanying ever present fear that you’re leaving a trail of gore where ever you roam. 4 Advil? Don’t mind if I do!

Overalls are neat. You can feel farts go all the way up your back!

Someone get that dog to a groomer before it goes Full Nick Nolte.

I think if Third Eye Blind combined with Eagle-Eye Cherry, they’d fix that third eye problem right up.

They’re awesome! I went to a show of theirs once, and I ended up wearing the same outfit (black jeans, red flannel) as Macaulay Culkin, which made me wonder who, indeed, was the bigger lesbian among us.

Maybe it’s the menopause talking, but I still fell sorry for poor Demi. I don’t think Demi weathered their breakup very well and his subsequent relationship with Mila.

Thank you thank you thank you. I had never heard that story, and I went looking for it because of you. That was amazing and my life is 1000x better now, just because I heard it.

I’m 33 and so is my bff, she has two kids. We regularly discuss how adult adults seemed when we were kids and how totally weird it is that she gave birth to humans.

My friend and I were talking about this the other day. We are both in our late 30's and she has a kid. We specifically talked about how our parents were at our age and how much older they seemed than we thought we seemed. Did they just seem older from our perspective? Or were they truly more boring and stuffy than we…

Jimmy Fallon’s ping-pong with Prince still stands out as the best. My husband and I still quote that weeks after seeing it. I love “You wanna warm up?” and “One-zip” while my husband is partial to the “Ask your boy” bit.

christ, and now I’m tearing up again.

I LOVE it when people wittily/kindly deflect small talk. Seriously. If someone does it they pretty much win me for life.

After Prince died, tons of musicians called into the “alternative” music station associated with MPR, the Current. They were all telling these amazing stories about Prince as were the deejays. Some were absolutely hilarious and others were quite touching. And some were completely random.

Or a daily shade calendar.

To be fair, I don’t have much tolerance for Fred, either...

“You could probably fill hundreds of pages, and I bet each and every single one of them would be good. Just a thought.”