Bartolo Colon calls a 20-pound bag of dog food and a nap “Wednesday.”

A Canadian gold medal will still only buy 0.77 American gold medals.

I’m just waiting for NYCFC to sign Carli lloyd.

Over priced aging stars from other teams playing out their career in Yankee stadium? Stop. The. Presses.

and even then you could argue that it wasn’t even a foul.

Olympic Gold Medalist, starting forward for the Portland Thorns (Get Thorny!), 52 goals for the USWNT.

50th star. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

It’s easy to win when you’re packing so much FREEDOM.

FIFA is going to have the US win the World Cup so we drop all these charges.

My theory.

I remember how Call of Duty tried to hype me up about a dog. Today someone else succeeded in that.

Lacrosse is like watching the slowest, least-talented game of hockey imaginable.

I don’t know what they’re going to do about all the players recently out of UNC. None of those guys show up on tests.

Billy is going to make this the central focal point of his upcoming 10k word scathing indictment of the sad state of MLS coaching.

Howard saw the red, white, and blue out there and instinct took over

Because sky cake isn’t tasty unless the sky pie and the sky baklava people don’t get to have any cake.

Braves in-field fly ruling a few years back. Fuck that ump.