MLB - “We’re totally against anything racist, suspensions all around!”

Also MLB - “This week on Sunday Night Baseball: Braves at Indians!”

Goddamn, man. This being Deadspin, I want to make a joke...but I just can’t; nothing about child abuse is humerus.

If it’s Tebow I might be convinced that god does exist.

He was initially charged with reckless driving but after review it was determined the guy wasn’t set and the call was reversed. 

We all got played but I love how the media is spending more time on a B List celebrity faking violence related to Trump and his MAGA hat wearing Chud’s than the arrest of a member of The US Coast Guard who admits he’s a white nationalist with a hit list of journalists and politicians who are predominately of color and…

“I would never be brave enough to do what Jussie did. He put his personal freedom at stake and shined a light into some dark corners that need cleaning. In a way, I’m proud of him. Because it doesn’t necessarily matter that this event didn’t happen. It matters that it could happen. That’s the real issue here. So good…

Well, it didn’t take long for his apologists to slither out into the light.

Oh boy did that get there. +1

This whole ‘not answering his phone’ thing has to be made up. So what if the GM doesn’t answer his phone, there is an Assistant GM and lots of other front office folks he could have spoken with. Did they also not answer their phones? Were they not available too? It’s not like Magic Johnson made Demps’ aides disappear.

Maybe his calls weren’t going through because he doesn’t have AT&T-cells.

The Celtics can offer a package, but they don’t have the ancillary benefits of the Lakers. The amazing thing about Lebron in the current league is that he can eventually just play stretch point-center when he slows down, so the fact that Boston has long-term assets means nothing when some form of Lebron will have…

If LeBron and AD get together, Ball probably gets shipped off to the Pelicans and then some shit team like the Heat.  It would be A Lonzo Mourning.

Their clocks run counterclockwise. 

Suicide doors.

Boston fans, please don't ever change. You're a treasure.

It's week 14.

I want to turn this play into a snortable powder and inhale it for eternity.

There’s a rocket aimed toward the sun scheduled to take off tomorrow. I’m sure they could squeeze this coaching staff in the cargo hold.

Goddammit, Mookie Betts is so cool/fun/good.  I just wish he played for literally any other team.