Oof, that's terrible. It's also super rude to assume that your guests are going to give you gifts. (I mean, most will, but it's not required. I can't imagine being that person who couldn't afford a gift, showing up to see their placemat thanking them for a gift they couldn't get.)

As someone who, thanks to a sibling's destination wedding and many pre-wedding parties, had months last year when I lost money instead of made money (and I work full-time), I feel you. Immediate family weddings are the absolute exception to the "just say no!" camp.

Gotcha. I think I misunderstood your comment — I was thinking only about day-of expenses.

YES TO THIS.

That sounds wonderful. I think a lot of people forget that receptions are technically held in honor of the guests, not the couple, as a thank you to them for attending the wedding ceremony.

That sucks. :(

Ugh, don't get me started on people who don't write thank you notes.

Personally, I don't think a bridesmaid should ever have to decline the position or step down because it's too expensive. Wedding parties should be selected based on who you can't imagine not having stand with you on your wedding day. Money shouldn't factor into it.

Maybe this works for some couples, but if the guy didn't seem interested or enthusiastic about the wedding, I'd wonder why I was bothering to marry him.

Love the family-style, lazy susan idea! Buffet lines at weddings can be rough.

This is great advice. Similarly, you also shouldn't pressure a friend to provide music for free all night. It's one thing to ask a friend to perform one song as a special gift/moment, but anything longer than that will keep them from enjoying the party and turns it into a service, not a gift (and services should be…

Overall this is a great list, but I'm confused by this sentence:

No offense, but a cash bar is a real no-no for a wedding. Guests should be properly hosted at a reception, which includes not asking them to open their wallets. If the hosts can't afford a full bar, that's totally fine - a limited bar or just beer/wine is perfect in terms of etiquette.

A+ Freudian slip.

This is a thing of beauty.

Doesn't Unilever also produce a line of skin-whitening products?

Etiquette-wise, though, you did the right thing by leaving it off the invitation. And people probably would have still called to specify what "cocktail attire" meant, anyway! :)

I think the "no white" rule is okay as long as it's unspoken. But the moment a bride or groom try to actually tell their guests what to wear, it becomes against etiquette. (The only real exception to this is for black tie weddings, I think?)

Definitely. Though I do think you have to be careful using sites like this - the wedding industrial complex is very pushy, and wants you to buy into all the tacky wedding stuff that's unfortunately become so popular. Case in point: honeyfunds.

The Knot mostly exists to sell you things, as far as I can tell. Though I do think their forums are very helpful, especially the Etiquette one. I lurked there for a while when I was a bridesmaid for the first time and had no idea what it entailed.