“So, the... I don’t understand. Are you gonna engage with the... mannequin at all, or?”

I judge that an apt and well spelt cudgel

“I’m sorry, Laura Danette, I don’t understand the question.”

You realise men come in other colours than just black and white, don’t you?

Whenever I hear dire warnings of the consequences of some particular course of action, I’m reminded of this film.

If you haven’t seen Lesley Manville in the 2016 BBC Two sitcom Mum, then what are you doing with your life? Seriously, make better choices.

You could have pointed this out without calling people idiots. As The Larch said, it’s reasonable to note the parallels between the two. Unless you’re trying to reinforce the bad reputation of anime fans.

Did you mean to write “fore mood” or “more food”?

The gay Tenderman can be identified (and hence avoided) by the presence of the word “sensual” on his Grindr profile. Ugh.

I stick to some standard questions:
Relationships and family “Are you sleeping with him for a bet?”
Pregnancy “Do you know who the father is?”
Work “Is it weird not having anyone cum on you?”

Is there a traditional punctuation mark for embarrassment?

“Never freak out.” Thank you for passing on your Grandma’s reassurances. I’m visiting my family next weekend after too long an absence, where I hope to find my own comfort against tribulation.

I came here for this. You are the best.

One is not enough, but three is too many?