He’s half Russian Jewish, half Maori. He’s the future.

Does 2-3 percent African American turnout mean that only 2-3 percent of elligible African Americans vote? Am I reading that correctly?

I am white and definitely went to Chuck E. Cheese as a kid, but also I’m from Canada, so I’m not sure if that counts. In Quebec they had to call it Charles E. Fromage, and the “E” stood for “ennui.”

Likewise.

That is a very thoughtful analysis of the intersections of class and race at late ‘80s/early ‘90s Chuck E. Cheese’s in Texas.

Can he pay to get them towed WITHOUT calling a cop? Is that a thing? Can you call a towtruck and just be like “remove this shit?”

Yeah, if I got a chance to re-make all my life choices starting at 14 or 15 knowing what I know now, I’d do it in a heartbeat.

Agreed. That’s some 10/10 Kinjaing right there.

Rihanna is so hot that even a picture of her on my screen makes me feel weirdly panicky.

Like “Am I doing something weird with my hands? Am I being cool? Does she think I’m cool? Fuck. I’m fucking this up.”

IT IS A PHOTO, SELF. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER.

These guys were MAYBE committing a minor bylaw infraction. (There seems to be some debate about that.) This woman’s reponse was to call 911 and then STAND THERE AND WATCH THEM. That is a COMPLETELY DISPROPORTIONATE RESPONSE, to an almost insane degree, and I do not think she would have had if the men (not boys)…

Look, in my defense, it belonged to a friend and was only supposed to be there for a couple days.

This is a buddy comedy I’d watch.

Welp. Fuck.

Or to help find misplaced weed! “Shadow! Where did I put my stash?”

Also, these dogs all eventually retire and aren’t killed when they do. The dogs will just go into early retirement. Maybe they’ll buy a boat or try to sell their handicrafts on Etsy.

Apparently Border Collies in the city will try to heard cyclists if they’re not given enough to do.

That whole album is a fucking underrated gem.

I am struggling to adapt to the fact that, for conservatives in the United States—and increasingly elswhere—being crazy is no longer a bug, but a feature. They’re not going to vote for him in spite of the fact he’s a loon. That’s what they’re voting FOR.

This is what I was wondering!

That’s my secret for EVERYTHING!