Also, like, more need to cover = more layers = more clothing! There’s no rule saying women can’t dress nicely.

What is this type of head covering called?

Also, like, couldn’t a woman who covers outside of the house could still wear more revealing fashion at home if she wanted to? Around her mahrams and other women?

THIS IS HOW I FEEL. I have never known hate like this. I’ve never wished an entire group of people dead before.

The thing I’m the angriest about is that, since the election, I have learned what it feels like to truly hate a group of people (white conservatives) en masse, to the point of feeling no sympathy or mercy.

Though if I’m not mistaken, Easter and Passover are determined by the same thing (as opposed to Easter being determined by the timing of Passover), no?

Is Easter really that big with the Christmas-and-Easter set? I mean, if you’re actually religious, sure - it’s a pretty important holiday. But as a non-Christian I’ve always sort of assumed that most Americans don’t care as much about Easter as they do about Christmas because it isn’t as much fun. Am I wrong?

Yes. I agree with this exactly.

And I’m sorry I got so worked up! I can get pretty reactive with this stuff.

Also, like, if sex with your partner doesn’t involve any emotional labor, are you even really there with them? Are you thinking about them? Are you trying to do things that they enjoy? Are you remembering to avoid things that trigger them? Are they doing the same for you?

Emotional relationships involve emotional labor. Full stop. There’s nothing disgusting about it. It’s not bad as long as it’s willing and reciprocated. Parenting involves emotional labor, being a partner involves emotional labor, being a friend involves emotional labor. It’s okay! All good things are worth working…

I was in the same situation - except not married and probably a lot worse than mediocre (there was abuse, of me and of my pets, which was the last straw because they are my children) - and it was also a friend who helped motivate me to get out of the relationship. Everyone was afraid to tell me that they didn’t like…

I think she’s getting there. It takes a while to get up the gumption when you live with someone, you know?

Sex is emotional labor. Refusing to perform emotional labor is not abuse. Refusing to perform emotional labor because you feel that you are being taken advantage of is ESPECIALLY not abuse.

That’s fair. I see the link between the two as the idea that sex is labor, which I obviously think it is, and which I obviously think is okay. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts when you’re done with your brain digging.

Well first of all, my first reaction was to dump him because I don’t think he’s going to change. They live together and I’m not sure what her finances are like, so I’m not sure how realistic it is for her to move out. But the problem is that he isn’t a *total* bag of crap. My partner describes him as “mildly shitty.”…

May I ask how you feel about sex work? Because I feel as though your discomfort defining sex as a thing that can be withheld might reflect discomfort with the idea that sex is labor, which it is (even if you enjoy it).

I see a lot of people raising the idea that a sex strike is problematic because of the value it places on sexuality (or being a sexual object), but I’m not sure I’m seeing it any differently than any other workers strike.

Yes, but I mean, strikes do create struggles for workers as well (lost wages, lost time), so I think the idea here might be that for many men, that’s all we’re good for - so hit them where it hurts. It might hurt us too, but we’ll survive.

“Angry” and “abusive” are not the same thing. Angry, yes - and maybe petty, maybe unfair, maybe inconsiderate. But not abusive. I don’t know what kind of fucking relationships YOU have, but abusive language isn’t normal or okay.