He’s short, he’s Canadian, and he simply cannot be touched.

they also agreed pitchers on the white uniformed teams had to wear black hats so as to not have the possibility of hiding the ball in their motion. just a rousing success all around.

I’m holding out for the rarer Billy Ripken “Fuck face” signed Gacy painting. 

But what happens when Murray eventually gets traded (or has to work with the next coach after his current coach gets fired)? He’ll have to figure out what I’m trying to figure out now... how to survive in a Post Malone world.

Word out of Washington is that their plan was always to have him be John Steel Slats anyway.

Way to bury the lede, Lauren. The mantis was fucking praying during the national anthem. That is the most patriotic, God-loving American shit I have ever heard. What a hero. 

Sneak peek at Cleveland’s presentation.

there are pad size rules so if the goalie was big enough to block the whole net he would have body parts exposed to the shots. After he takes a few slapshots to the unprotected areas he will be moving to avoid them pretty quickly.

“He .... has been wearing a soft cast.”

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

Searches: Most popular sex positions.

Pictured: Roundtable Discussion on The Role of Deliberate Practice in the Acquisition of Expert Performance

He can at least do the Dodgers home games in the Series.

“Had no idea today was Jose Bautista bobblehead day.” (Via @DriveThruDuck)

Just awful. I remember reading that SI piece when it came out and that family seemed so loving and caring.

Leave Sly and the family alone.

This kind of sensationalist nonsense isn’t why I come to Deadspin.

He’ll reportedly be replaced on a interim basis by assistant coach J.B. Bickerstaff.

Hüsker Dön’t

Hahahahaha! That’s funny.