I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles! Sure, I might offend a few of the blue-noses with my cocky stride and musky odors. Oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk…

We live in the age of Frinkiac - these lazy methods of referencing the Simpsons will not stand!

"Quone - to quone something!"

Well I do support his plan to build a wall to keep all those Hamburglars out!

I'd have thought he'd go for Burger King, what with the crown and all.

"Sorry, Internet Jr. We can't afford Christmas this year."

Well, this and racist/homophobic/transphobic memes.

Wait…this comment is on the Internet.

You'll have to be more specific.

Lucas always intended to end the movie on a Stormtrooper ranting drunkenly as he crashed the party on Endor, they just didn't have the budget until 2016.

Madison just had to insert that cyborg clause in the Constitution, didn't he . . .

As a representative of the particulates union, I find your remarks offensive.

UKRAINE IS GAME TO YOU? HOW BOUT I TAKE YOUR LITTLE BOARD AND SMASH!

I've started a whitehouse.gov petition to take your think piece off the internet!

Just for that I hope the next Doctor is played by a Bostonian.

Oh, they learned: http://youtu.be/Rlo3x0NMs5g

Hold the Bloor?

Forget Jimmy Carter - you're history's greatest monster!

On the bright side, Sean Bean doesn't die in this one.

"Bruce Wayne has always been a little shit" - Zack Snyder