I guess I’m doing my part by not owning a dog.

I’ll give you something to cry about!!!

At my stage in my career, I’m essentially a guru. Not only is having others ask my opinion flattering, it’s what I do for a living.

Yes, a cootie catcher! A coworker made one and it was a great way to pass the boredom during inventory.

brb changing my name to DMC6

Right. Cop thinks I match the description of a killer on the loose? Sure, search my car as much as you want. No bloody bodies in there. I know I have the right to say no, but it’s a lot more important that I don’t waste their time, and let them get back to hunting that killer on the loose.

It used to irritate me till I realized I was the idiot. It’s called “pumpkin spice”, not “pumpkin and spice”. Small but significant difference that I was overlooking. I totally deserved a flogging for my ranting prior to my enlightenment.

Ironically, calling things basic has become quite basic.

I think you’re missing the point. An N of 300 has some kind of statistical significance, while an N of 12 doesn’t. The low N item has a higher probably of being great, and a higher probably of being garbage, or worse, a scam. So yes, don’t evaluate your purchases by using a stars + reviewers calculation, but you also…

Distribution of reviews is also key. A lot of 1 star reviews = no go. I usually start researching a product by seeing what issues the 1 star reviews say. If the bulk of them are user error I’m good. If the bulk of them are “product broke in half immediately after return window”..... no thanks.

Uhh... couldn’t it also go the other way? Maybe the product with twelve 3-star reviews is actually closer to a 2-star, it just hasn’t had enough reviews to let it get to a 2-star.

Hopefully it’s the scientific way to a good public beating. I’d abhor violence but don’t mind seeing a line cutter get beaten within an inch of life...

Um, no. F this.

Line cutting was how people made everyone hate them before social media.

Si! The Cornballer!

Yes. Yes, you can.

I’m trying to find where the “ass” is in that trailer. This is what our expectations have become?

I’d use one of those on my cheapass everyday knives, sure. What happens if I ruin one? I’m out a few bucks for a new knife in the same cheapass everyday “I don’t make Frasier Crane’s money” price range.

Semi-melted ice cream is the best though.

Calling these shitheads Nazis is an insult to actual Nazis. Actual Nazis overran France in a matter of weeks. These pencil-neck geeks run crying for their moms the minute their names get matched to their faces...