Why is the torso so big and the dress so small?

When Kelly & Michael viewers are too smart for your content, its probably time to reevaluate.

Obligatory.

Well, I can't speak to being a size 0, 00, or 000, but I have noticed in the last decade at stores like Ann Taylor, the GAP and J Crew that though I used to be a size M or L and higher in the numbers, I now wear as small as a size four at those places. It's a bunch of malarkey, as I have not changed size in that last…

Will anything bad happen to the emmy voters?

People laughed at me when I stocked my bathroom with mongooses instead of toilet paper.

Now who's laughing?!

Nope. Nope. Nope. I don't care if it was venomous or not. There would be a Phyllis shaped hole in the wall and I'd be gone, never to return.

It's interesting how fridges and supermarkets are so closely intertwined. If you have no fridge, or just a tiny one, you don't have much use for a huge mega-market. It's such a suburban phenomenon.

You forgot to mention the most beneficial use of a fridge ever...surviving a nuke!

A tip for those folks who end up wasting food that they've bought.

How much cream cheese does one family need?! Seriously, is this a Philadelphia Cream Cheese ad?

Don't you know we're all lesbian shitasses here? We don't want the D!

I'm guessing this guy never grew a big dick, so he became one instead.

"Does Hermione Granger prove that a witch really can have it all? (No – look at her hair.)"

Even better, why bother with any specifics at all? It's the surest way to ensure no innocent feelings are hurt. How about "Person Somewhere Allegedly Unpleasant".

They were so excited about the joke they didn't even get the grammar right! "Two men faces"?

Police report the rabbit survived the beating and is recovering.

when these guys are on their deathbeds, how will they see the days they spent like this?