Or cats. Or myself.

If you can't handle farts, dogs are not for you.

On the bright side we don't have to offended by some interracial couple. That's a plus.

My favourite will always be this celebration. They are respectively the tallest (Olivier Giroud) and the shortest (Matthieu Valbuena) French players. And they look like they're 7 !

I propose a new derogatory word: thickebag. Please feel free to use in a sentence.

Muppet Babies—-they're all muppets and babies. What about the rest of us?

I really want to know this asshole's opinion on the lack of women in the following shows:

- Escape from Alcatraz
- Shawshank Redemption
- The Green Mile
- Oz
- The Rock

I wonder what the population of women in women-only prisons is? I bet it's higher.

Yea I gained 30 pounds too. What is it with the 30 pounds? Almost everyone I know or has heard of going on depo has gained 30 pounds around the same time frame. But eh, I can't handle the other forms and would forget to take pills. So depo is the only thing I can stick to.

My first instinct was to say "No, YOU'RE the evil twin!"...which I think means that yes, I am the evil twin :)

This is why SCOTUS should have term limits.

and this is why you always vote, even if you're not ecstatic about the candidates.

PHILADELPHIA IS NOT EVEN ON HERE; WE'RE LIKE A SPECIAL BREED OF UNCONTACTED PEOPLE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

If I take your user name correctly, you will know what I really mean when I say this: Oh, bless your heart.

"not that I'd risk offending her by asking" — I'll just write it into my story, passive aggressively.

Watching the World Cup taught me it's ok to bite others

and because....

A racist snuggie? I think I love you!

I call it the "Roger Klotz."