Except this is true, assuming you aren’t talking about pedos. Other kids will definitely touch your kid at a large playground.

“Don’t touch someone else’s shit without permission.”

They and people like them had sons and they make up the field for professional racing. 

Don’t pretty much all racecar drivers come from wealth? What makes this guy special?

Pictured: His close associates. 

3) Probably wouldn’t work. I’d imagine Presidents are best situated to survive nuclear war. Then you’ll get him for the rest of his life/Earth’s life, because Presidents don’t change during large wars (if history is any indicator).

Hi! Are you new? Great article!

That’s a fast 12 miles in rush hour traffic. I’m 80 minutes in the mornings and 90 minutes in the evening. I drive 10 miles. 

Not when you are the only possible recipient of his punishment money and there isn’t a criminal case.

I literally spit coffee on my screen. 

That makes a lot more sense, but still funny because all I could think of when he ripped off his shirt was this:

Why is that guy wearing a sports bra? That’s my biggest take away. Dress however you want, but I just don’t get it. 

+ 1 rhythmic snapping

I’m confused. Most systems let you just take the number of standard deductions you want. Why would you need to update it even if the amount of the deduction doubled?

You lift at the same gym as Rick Flair?

“Note for all of you unfamiliar, the dispute unfolded in both of Canada’s official languages, français/joual and English.”

This is the kind of conversation you have about not fully extending. You don’t kick a weight out of someone’s hand. 

When the steroids make you confrontational, but the soy protein makes you weepy. - How I assume the deadlift cop arrived at his emotional state. 

To be fair, the oral advice was “Put out any lit cigarettes you may be smoking and start giving more fucks”. 

“nobody is posing for selfies at Dachau.”