Men aren't children and your metaphors are terrible.

OMG YAS.

Ahahahaha yes! Perfect!

You'll have to ask a guinea pig expert but I believe they are, yeah.

I'm so startled right now!

"Bweep" is the perfect descriptor for the sound they make!

The best thing about guinea pigs is the weird ass noises they make.

Pink nose!

My ex-husband had a meltdown when he found out that he was not the biggest guy I had been with. He obsessed over it for months. It was so fucking stupid.

Thankee-sai

Dammit Roland.

My inner goddess recoiled at that sentence.

My inner goddess recoiled at that sentence.

Oh god people are idiots. My ex had cerebral palsy, and his raw vegan friend told him many times that if he just ate a raw vegan diet he'd be cured of his cerebral palsy and be able to walk -__-

My mom went with me when I bought my wedding dress. I had intended on inviting my (now ex) mother-in-law because she had no daughters and really seemed to want to go. My normally level-headed mother flipped out and said that if I'd rather go with her then fine, she would sit out. I wasn't really prepared for the…

Now I use the ring for voodoo curses.

Divorced twice, kept both rings. I offered the ring back to my first ex-husband, which he declined. So now it sits in a box being pretty and sparkly and unused.

I dunno, I've met some charistmatic-as-fuck dinner plates...

I hear it was photoshopped in Australia ;).

Pretty sure it's a huntsman spider. They live in Australia, which is why I don't.