I actually really like geese! My ex-husband had a pet goose (baby gosling that imprinted on him when it hatched). I see them a lot when I go biking and I think they're cool. But a lot of people have really bad goose experiences.

Cat probably would've done the trick.

I usually jog late at night in the summer because it's too fucking hot to do it at any other time. My old route was in a secluded neighborhood near a forest, so a lot of trees, minimal lighting, and not a ton of cars.

I like to save the dick pics I get and send them back at random. Sometimes I even add captions.

I want to sing praises to my fucking ParaGard because I had so much trouble with hormonal bc, and guys always whine about condoms (though I don't really blame them - I don't like using them either). The first pill I went on did something to my circulatory system. I don't have varicose veins, but I have a couple of…

No way! I was terrified of my dad when I was a kid! I did tell my mom a few years ago when we were drinking together and she was pretty mad about it. But by then fifteen years had passed so oh well.

Haha, I know what you mean. If it makes any difference, my parents are happily divorced and they're both much better people now :).

Aw, I'm going to tell my story but it's saaaaaaad.

Don't do it. The buttons will be pressed.

Ughhhhhhh. I have a power button between my shoulder blades in solid black.

"Atta girl" is also pretty bad. Had some dude say this to me when I finally came during one sex session. It was horrible.

I'm hiring you to write my next dating profile.

Me too!!!!

"essence of cantilever," "hints of necrotized plum," "shades of amuse bouche," "an airy, almost calligraphic flavor," "a miasma of inadequate conjugation"

She's the only reason my ex and I are still friends ;).

I had a rescue chow like that. The first night I tried to get her to sleep on the bed she was like, "no thank you" and curled up behind my Papasan chair. It hurt my feelings.

Oh my god I want to cry. My ex's collie/kelpie is the exact same level of annoying when you're trying to sleep! She especially likes to stick her long collie legs in your face.

I went on a horrible, horrible, horrible blind date where the guy proclaimed that he found my social anxiety "irresistible." He decided to tell me this as I was explaining that I no longer wanted to see him due to my anxieties about dating. Classy.

A fabulous dress by any other name is still a fabulous dress, though I will be calling it that from now on.