Oh my gosh. My pregnant self made the horrid mistake of walking the children to the park instead of driving, and discovered the hard way that my weather app LIED and it was 100* instead of 91*.

Forget eating the ice-cream sandwiches. I want to just take a bath in them.

Remember folks, lightly muddle the mint. Don't grind it into a pulp and transform your Mojito into a bitter bomb.

If Retta needs a good girlfriend to help her weather her breakup with some tequila, karaoke and random kissing of hot boys in bars, I would like to volunteer to be her wingman bestie.

jane works better as a boys name

When I watch Netflix (or Hulu) for a very long time, it eventually asks me if I want to "Continue Watching" or take a break or something. It's so patronizing.

In a few hours I'm going to hit the gym and then teach a self-defense class (mixed sex). I'll pair women with men, women with women, and men with men. Size, age, etc, it really doesn't matter. You don't get to pick your attacker. Life don't work like that.

And, at the end of the day, I'll be a happy fucking instructor…

I'm just upset because I seem to be "ducking" all the time.

Wait...why would you write "REDRUM" on the mirror?

ive looked. I know I have a urethra somewhere, but ive never found it. Hand mirrors dont always help

I'm only a little more than half-way through the book, but I really cannot wait to find out if that actually happened or if they just added it to the show.

I'm partial to "Whatta Man" by Salt-N-Pepa. I can't decide if my favorite lyric is "He knows that my name is not Susan." or "He spends quality time with his kids when he can." But you know what? Why choose?

is he/was he a gamer?

I'm currently in the middle of...let's just say a huge work/life project, and it's gotten to the point where if I don't have at least 5 cups of coffee a day I start to get a headache. My tolerance has gotten so ridiculous that I find myself getting another espresso or Coke in the afternoon "just in case" I haven't had…

Oh, that's weird. I can get on not wanting to consume all the extra calories that is mt. dew or energy drinks (with the except of gin and tonics, I try not to drink my calories), but if it's just them bitching about the caffeine? man. SHARE IN THE CAFFEINATED JOY.

I always say: At least my addiction is socially acceptable.

I've been drinking energy drinks and coffee sometimes multiple times daily since I was 15 (23 now) and I'm now trying to stop. I get nauseated, migraines, and just an irritated attitude when I don't get enough caffeine (right now at least 100mg daily). It is addictive and is hard to quit when it becomes a habit. I get…

...I know the feeling.

Don't be so hard on yourself (said the stranger on the internet)! People's life journeys, while sharing some commonalities, are individual, and there needn't be any embarrassment about your timeline being different from someone else's. Best wishes. :)

I am definitely the person who wouldn't use the toilet paper bc it's touched the ground.

So that's what a Pinterest divorce looks like.