For real, you are sooo right! I order from a local wing place and tip 10 bucks every time— usually there's an 1-2 hour wait (it's expected when we order that it'll take forever- the food is awesome and totally worth the wait) for delivery, but mine would come in like 20 minutes :D Actually had a dude once say he felt…

Or use Google Voice and you can use Android or iPhone, or any computer, etc.

I don't really understand kosher food. Like, I know I wouldn't be able to order bacon, but I didn't know about this meat/cheese thing. But if I go to a restaurant, you know what I do? I order something that's on the menu. If I ask to sub something and they can't, I say "oh? Well okay" and then I give them legal tender…

I'm so glad the baby punting story ended with the parents apologizing.

Oh they were the worst, those year 7 b.c. kids. Always tearing through town on their donkey carts blasting that damned loud Lyre music.

*Checks to see if anyone was injured badly or killed* *Nope*

Andrew

This is like the 2015 version of taking a photo of a shoplifter and posting it above the counter.

I'm going to go with "general" as the one that isn't. At least in my experience, officers are really good restaurant customers who are polite and tip well, and I've definitely waited on some high-ranking admirals and generals by virtue of working near the Pentagon.

Belladonna pesto would solve some of those problem customers.

*sips skinny whole-milk nonalcoholic Irish macchiato* from their monogrammed thermos

I still fucking use this line.

I know I'm going to get throttled for this, but there's some baby in her mostly-insane bathwater. I am not a fan of GMO crops. This is not because I think they are poisonous or "toxic" it's because I am not convinced that enough independent research was undertaken with regard to how the GMO's effect the food system as…

I get what you're saying. She is not a personality I enjoy, and the "toxins" rhetoric is a dog whistle for ignorant crazies. But we eat some nasty shit in this country, and I don't think there's an equivalency between letting your kid give half of Disneyland the measles and trying to get chemicals removed from cereal…

Speaking as a fellow lactase-persistent Jezzie (I'm Irish and German—how can I not be able to drink milk?) I feel it is my duty to enjoy dairy for the sake of those who can't. To deny the gift of my ancestors would be extremely arrogant.

Counterpoint: There is no better snack food than chocolate milk.

So proud that we have someone who is both a doctor and a judge on staff.

When I was wee bee-eater, my fam was in San Diego to ogle the trapped animals. One night, we went to an Outback. The guy there was AMAZING. Called my dad "boss", memorized our orders, and went above and beyond for my sister and I, who were fanatically picky eaters. My dad stops him in front of the manager and handed…

I dislike them on principle (because ew), but also just because they're not very entertaining to me. I like it when assholes get publicly humiliated or when the revenge is particularly clever. I know the server probably got a kick out of it, but as a reader I get no satisfaction from the knowledge that this horrible…