Matt, you're from Houston. Can we do a Buc-ee's review together?

Fuuuuuuck the world, any part of Texas (well, maybe not Vidor) is better than any part of California."

Now I have an excuse to use whenever someone catches me scratching my bunghole.

Should translate to something like "commandeered". Like being dragooned. Like when naval crews on captured ships were pressed into service.

In case you ever wondered what porn looks like on Cybertron.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

Don't forget to tickle the knob.

Page 52 of AM owners manual:

Heinkel 111

Gotta get a jump on the hump to properly pump and dump the chump.

Hooray for Houston.

The cement truck was on it's way to Dr. Zhu's residence to pour a new driveway. The company was not able to get a replacement truck to his house that day.

Now, this is a story all about how

Got that beach a ship.

Glad I'm not racing at Talladega. It would be the first time a driver ever crashed from having a case of the giggles.

in the process get the bomb

Telephone numbers without area codes. It's how you know you're in the fucking boonies.

The internet. Where everyone is right and you are always wrong.