If only I could give this more stars.

- The National Anthem before NFL games

Pack it up, folks, we’re not beating this one.

“Flags. I fucking hate flags. You fucking hate flags. Everyone fucking hates flags.”

If you look hard enough at the decision, it makes sense. But you really have to squint to see it.

Dude is so elusive, he could be a lawyer for Joe Paterno.

I’m as big a Patriots hater as the next guy but associating them with the Confederacy is just wrong.

Romo: Wow, at least Suh didn’t murder him, huh?

Choke the Raven nevermore.

Little Caesars: Come see our empty insides before we do the same to you.

You gotta admit, that would make for a sizable bump.

T.Y. notes often make things better, but I guess not this time.

I look forward to the “Gardenfired” headline that will be coming about two years hence.

And it’s up in a mountain, not remotely touching water, right?

I hope this comment gets all the stars it deserves.

Tibet? FUCKING TIBET!? Tibet isn’t even an independent country!

Oh please, people. It’s not like anyone in the US Navy needs to know where the Persian Gulf is.

Explain your Mounds over Almond Joy theory...now!

1. Sour Patch Kids