I would have thought Colonel Sanders would be a breast man.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

Except there’s a bullet in every chamber.

I would not want to be asked about the Middle East all the time either. Speaking in public on that is like playing Russian roulette.

A whiteness of teenage girls ordering frappuccinos.

This comment is everything wrong with America.

For some reason I kept reading “Ferrari Guy” as “Guy Fieri.”

I LOVE YOU, JOHN WATERS!!!!!!! 143637 JOHN WATERS!!!!!!!

I choo choo choose to recommend this.

OMFG. Schnookums is watching Supernatural right now. I’m so jealous. I WANT TO WATCH DEAN, TOO.

“Having a drunken stranger stalk you and show up in his underwear in your apartment is a beautiful thing!” He shouted at me. “Why are you treating it like it’s dirty?”

If you think about it, any story about food is the beginning of a poop story.

So I kept count and here we are! I made her keep her promise!

The story about the cancer-free anniversary “date” is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever read. That’s some Ralph Wiggum/Lisa Simpson shit right there.

“We think we’ll have a better chance over throwing you guys than the Muslims one day, so we’ll be on team Jew for now”

Wait, you don’t want fundamentalist christians using your country, identity and/or culture as a proxy to fuel their eschatolorgasm?

What, so Israel isn’t ALLOWED to have glitches? Is that what you’re saying!?

I second this. That's probably the ONLY book I've ever read that disturbed me.

No love for House of Leaves? :(