I don’t “fear death” I just have too much to do, so all this “growing up” crap is for the dogs. Plus, people seem to think having kids is an excuse to turn their car into an episode of the hoarders. Get yourself an umbrella stroller, anything more is just you taking a grocery cart with you, in order for you to have a…

I’m going to make a movie just like Yesterday where a guy wakes up and suddenly nobody but him remembers Steely Dan, and it will be a documentary about my life.

I know that things on the internet can get pretty heated and a lot of people say things they don’t really mean because they are protected by the cloak of anonymity, so I want you to understand how sincere I am when I say I hope you die in a fire.

Or is this just fantasy?

It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside

Is this real life?

Does this make the entrance to the gym a car pool lane?

Toyota - Let’s go places

Jeep Compass, hands down.

Is the C in Versa C stand for Credit Challenged? ECO for economic, because you can’t afford anything better? MAXX for maxed out your credit card by paying off your other credit card?

Nissan can assign blame however they see fit, but this is 100% their own fault. They haven’t meaningfully updated their product line in close to a decade all while cost-cutting anywhere and everywhere they can so that they’ve eliminated any semblance of quality, and then they are shocked when everyone stops buying…

Just keep pumping out crossovers and 42 year old Frontiers. 

So only 4 more years and Nissan is finished. I’m cool with that. 

I went to high school like 10 minutes from Merriweather, and went to a lot of shows there. Columbia is going to regret this. Is there still camping, where will they camp? This will go over poorly.

I lived next door in E.C. but worked across from the Columbia mall when the Grateful Dead came by in 2003. The handwringing and pearl clutching in the days before the concert was hilarious.

Welcome to the Village of Keep the Noise Down After 10

This reminds me of a performance piece/skit series in the late 90's, in Austin Texas. I forget the name of the entire show...something mock scolding about not jumping on the bed. Anyway, without prior warning we witnessed a piece about Prucella The Pussy Puller. She came out dressed as a masked Mexican wrestler, mask…

Because shut up, Kyle.

Another one that I was thinking of whilst preparing breakfast (sausages, eggs, proper bacon and not that laminated shite you Americans seem to love, with toast)...

Shouldn’t Aubrey O’Day begging Jr. to take her back be filed under “Barf Bag”?