Dodge Avenger (2012-ish?)

Renault Anchor or Appliance (I forget which) back when a couple of the major US rental-car companies were fond of them. I’ve never driven a car that gave me such a feeling that I could rip it apart with my bare hands, and probably should, if only as a favor to others.

Ford Topaz. Or Mercury Tempo.  Whichever.  I would get them as rentals when traveling or when my car was in the shop.  They were the cheapest available for a reason. I would always hit the shoulder belt tensioner getting in or out.  Slow, uncomfortable, cheap everything.  At least they never broke down the short times…

1st Gen Escape Hybrid. Flinty handling, weird brake pedal, weird gas pedal, loud as hell on the highway. Press the gas nothing happens, press more, nothing happens, press more oh shit you want to actually go somewhere-engine fires up and you get all the acceleration it has at once. Brakes act in the same way. Just…

A 2009 Dodge Caliber, base model. It was the loaner car at my local CDJR dealer and it was just the worst. I mean, it was not good at anything it was supposed to do save maybe for being better than walking. It wasn’t a usefully proportioned station wagon, nor an attractive looking sedan nor a usefully sized SUV. It…

2008 Chevy Uplander - look at it’s ugly wannabe truck face and then realize its looks might be the best thing going for it.

The current Polestar 2 looks like a Volvo sedan used in a TV commercial where they had to debrand the car for legal reasons.

It’s pleasant to look at, I’m sure well screwed together and the range is acceptable, but it just doesn’t feel like an $83k+ car, which in reality with taxes and options is really a $90k+ car. Lease rates and interest rates are wild right now, and to pick this over say the upcoming EV Porsche Macan or the Volvo EX90…

Looks Like a fine American Automobile to me!

I have a suggestion. Rank this wherever you’d like based on whatever criteria you would like, but I’d be quite surprised if this doesn’t earn the top spot. I think that in any objective or subjective measure of “worst”, the Mercury Villager Nautica should win.

As a young adult, this made no sense to me.
It leads me to…

That’s what they get for discontinuing the Sours.

It eased into the water like an old man into a nice warm bath.

Why?

BAN CRUISE SHIPS

The bulbous back and tail lamp treatment makes me think of the Nissan Leopard/Infiniti J30

Infiniti Q50

The official vehicle of “I live in a small town and only buy from the local Chevy dealership because Jesus hates foreigners.”

“Sure Wished I Finished Training!”

Swift - “Stop Whining, I’m Fucking Trying!”

I think the most important thing in all of this is whether this guy’s hair is a wig or not, so the investigating is not done yet.