“Hey, why are the Jacksonville Jaguars playing on Friday?”

Look how high in ends in a “p” - which is probably higher than a pair of Russian hookers can aim.

But what about all the money he saves with his self-inflicted haircuts?

Early bird special.

Who did they have to kill to be #1?

“It takes a lot of political courage to hold on to your beliefs. That’s why you’re unelectable. Bring on the weasel.”

Donald Trump never wears genes. He’s always in a suit.

Did mom finally read the transcripts of his gang rape trial?

Wasn’t this the day he was supposed to tell us all the hacking information that nobody but Trump knows? But there’s always time for baseball....while all your appointees are in front of the senate. President is merely being a show pony.

That must have been something I said during the days I took lots of meth and white lightning with my sister.

He should have done like the Giants and just went down on the one foot line so they could just burn the clock more. 2 minutes is too much time when Bama’s defense was worn out from playing after midnight.

America is paying a million dollars a day so she doesn’t have to live in the White House.

But they paid all that money to go 82-0.

We are through the looking glass.

they’ve lost six. Message is not being received.

There’s already a wall down there. Seems like Trump supporters have zero clue about the existing wall and the problem it has caused to communities? I spoke with an elderly woman who was all about Trump building that wall. When I told her we already have a wall, her response was, ‘Trump’s going to build it bigger and…

All he has to say is. “I have a wife and kids. I’m used to arguments.”

UNC did tell the NCAA that they have no authority to punish them for having 100s of fake classes. How dare the NCAA be nasty about the fact that the winner of men’s basketball tourney was fielding players that weren’t really students.

Wasn’t the whole point of Snapchat was everything you put on there vanishes immediately and can’t get you in trouble like yahoo instant messenger?

Is it really history if it happens every four years and pretty much nobody remembers much about the entertainment unless they blow it or there’s a lip synch coverup.