So the show about the rich guy who was killing people and dressing up as an old woman was fake?

Think of how much money Wrigley hasn’t had to pay the Cubs over the decades for their name sponsorship.

My mom would be screaming to catch 2 touchdowns so I wouldn’t upset my grandmother.

I need to get back to my job of driving the same 30 voters all over the state so they can early vote 100 times in 2 weeks!

For those prices, you can always head to the Bunny Ranch and the entry fee in Wrigleyville will help you relieve 108 years of frustration. They do have the game on TV.

So she’s definitely running.

During my early voting experience yesterday, I ran into a grandmother who had never registered to vote before. Why the change? Two things: She was moved by the words of Michelle Obama and as she said, “Donald Trump isn’t going to kill me.”

I Spy.

This goes up there with the jury that didn’t think Liberace’s gay.

Hope the dog didn’t die from an overdose of Towel Charms.

Can’t wait for Vivid Video to offer him a contract.

What’s the line for this place ending up in bankruptcy court faster than Taj Mahal (the first time Donald ran it into the ground)?

Does this mean we can stop caring about the Warriors for another 40 years?

Kershaw didn’t have Miller waiting in the bullpen ready to go more than three outs.

The brilliance of UNC claiming the NCAA has not right to care that student-athletes were taking fraud academic courses. By taking these classes, UNC allowed the student-athletes to be full time athlete. You can’t spell Unconscionable without UNC. Roy’s banners need to come down. Roy used to joke about how Tyler…

Eric Trump is a water cup is all full of free In’n’Out burger lemonade kinda guy.

Roger will blame the drop in viewership on people waiting to see who gets hit with a baseball bat.

Can we breakdown how Curt dressed himself this morning. Military insignia ballcap to show I’m down with the troops. Black flag t-shirt (sadly not an expensive Black Flag t-shirt - like Tim Kaine owns) to be even more patriotic. And blue jeans to show I’m just a normal American (who might have lost a lot of public…

Wasn’t the waterslide that cut off the kid’s head given a German name? Feels like Kansas doesn’t want to be American anymore.

Soft tacos are burritos too lazy to wrap up.