What about the Barons winning the Stanley Cup?

He’s a big fan of the Children’s Crusade.

The only way someone really “wins” a debate if their opponent falls to the floor in a fetal ball, cries and asks God why their mother didn’t abort them.

The Jags owners have been promised relocation to London is coming soon.

Can I applaud Bill for not tossing the Patriots IT guys under the bus and giving them a measure of respect for their work.

Jersey sales from people who won’t be seeing him wiff.

Miracles only count after you’re dead. Otherwise you’re a witch.

Because she doesn’t have to wash her hands for this gig - just scrub your soul on Nov. 9 after you’ve cashed the last check.

Under that logic, Donald Trump has never masturbated. Look at those ugly tiny hands.

But it seems like in the case of Bill Cosby, not a single woman stepped forward to say she hooked up with the Cos because she loved the “Noah” routine.

Time to trade him to the Canes for Cam Ward.

Same way that women keep saying they love a guy with a great sense of humor only to discover Bill Cosby had to roofie them for sex. Chester the Molester for President at this point.

Maybe the ratings are down because First Take caused brain strokes in viewers?

Sniffgazi!

Who wants a kiss from Daddy after he’s humped the furniture?

Welcome to Freakshow America.

You didn’t have to get in the lines for the urinals in that weather.

Donald Trump couldn’t have fought in Vietnam since his tiny fingers couldn’t have pulled a trigger.

I beg for one person to say, “I have a follow up question. Are you sh#$#ng me?”

Casual fans are getting nausea from all the attention the NFL wants them to pay attention. The NFL network, the time it takes up ESPN and the non-stop off-season chatter (I don’t care who my team drafts after round 1). They’re reaching their breaking point with the guys in the office who can’t shut up about their…