Lars says he’s wrong.

You can legally work as a hooker in Nevada on your 18th birthday. Poverty solved!

Alt-Right-Delete and it turns my porn into spreadsheets, right?

Not with that Adams Apple.

Where’s George Jetson supposed to park his car? Or can he merely hoover in front of one of the holes?

So the Greeks pioneered lawn jockeys? (using the not-as-racist version for illustration purposes).

Roger will be fine as long as he lands on his wallet or head.

Mine also has a puddle underneath it, but that’s because I’m smuggling body parts back from Asia and those Ziplock bags aren’t that great.

So fried chicken has replaced newspapers in proof of life photos.

I was at a documentary film festival a few years back and in the side of my eye, I this guy in a fancy suit with bright hair. My first thought was “Ric Flair is here!” I became disappointed when it turned out to be Phil Donahue. Disappointment deepened when Marlo Thomas wasn’t with him.

It was just an amazingly clueless apology. I hope he dyed his hair before delivering it so we know he’s sincere. Will King now lose his Speedo endorsement?

That was the point of the comment - that even the smallest nation in the World is responsible for millions of deaths.

Think of all the millions killed thanks to teeny tiny Vatican City.

This will be the first Olympics where my Mario Kart skills will make my country proud and shut my mother up once and for all!

Why won’t Panera bread let me order a Pita Taufatofua with extra mayo?

He’s black enough for my racist ex-grandmother-in-law.

NFL prefers the old white guy versus the black guy calling their games. Don’t want to tarnish the shield with a minority in the booth.

Are we not sure this current isn’t really a racer in one of the lanes peeing?

He only hands out Superbowl trophies - not PhDs.