I convinced my little brother that Velcro was Spam fur, like one side was male and the other female and it helped them mate because they’re boneless. He didn’t figure out it was a lie until middle school. Now he’s actually a biologist!

Prior to the arrest Kelly was involved in physical altercations with a guest at Von Miller’s party.

Truly, Buffalo’s prayers have been answered

Chads man, always fucking up. 

So fuck you.

Oh man, don’t tell Gary!

On the bright side the Bills PR Department must be pretty proud of themselves for that 37 second highlight reel they put together.  

It’s hard to blame Coleman for wanting to get as far away from that sadsack franchise as humanely possible.

The rest of the Browns must be pissed knowing all you had to do was ask.

It is wonderful to not care any more. People are still surprised when I tell them I don’t watch football; but they never believe how easy it was to do. The NFL has made it so EASY to not care about them anymore if you have even just a tiny shred of humanity and empathy left in you.

Anyone baller enough to put a hot tub in his Freshman year is draft worthy to me. 

I’m going to get a jersey just like that, except the number is going to be 21.

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

i’m floored. i wasn’t prepared for that many twists 

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

Not pictured: Jarvis explaining for 30 minutes how the team which scores more points wins the game

Ask Tyrod Taylor after this season ends.

I know there are people who think hot weather is the be all and end all of life but I’d take either of those cities over Tampa or Jacksonville. 

Buffalo is at least close to known fun city Toronto, and you are guaranteed 3 road games in New York, Miami and Boston which are fun enough destinations (A little shaky with Boston, but it’s better than Cincinnati, Baltimore or Pittsburgh). Your first goal as a Brown should be getting off the Browns. Any port in a…

No, I mean I’m pretty sure it is still better than Buffalo > Cleveland.