And this is a girl who gets hopelessly embarrassed if I lightly smack her ass in public even when nobody can see.

First time with my partner:

Not in my experience

I finally quit my rugby team. Now I just watch games that won’t suck involving neutral teams.

Yet you’re still dedicated enough to read and comment. Look at you!

If I’d been waiting to bust that one out for so long I’d at least check I wasn’t being an idiot first.

Given the NZ coach is English I imagine the Mexican fellow was called a cunt several times over.

That moonshine and incest will rot your brain.

Late as hell reply, but I think I look better at 29 than I did at 21. However I am brutally aware it’s going to unravel. I need to get a ring on my 23 year old girlfriend before it starts to go bad.

I dunno, I’ll keep most of the cooking shows and stuff like behind the scenes at airports (or are those more like short documentaries?) but shite like The Bachelor can go jump.

If there’s a master race, this fucker sure isn’t part of it.

This I was unaware of. Someone send him over there ASAP.

Don’t tell Zack.

Seriously fuck sliding into third then.

My old Audi was astonishingly accurate. It was about the only thing on the car that didn’t fail with annoying regularity.

If only he could stay in the grays, son.

I’m partial to a pre-midday wine/beer in context, but once it becomes more than one I’m getting a meal whether I’m hungry or not. It’s far more fun to be drunk in the evenings than feeling sorry for yourself when you wake up at 4am after ripping it during the day.

I take it he no rikey.

Again, that is to say.

He can give up eight if he gets to make Zack Hample self-own himself on Twitter.