“Tennis is full of lesbians says woman who must know first hand/tongue”

My ex got given codeine for a throat infection. I’m no doctor, but I said WHAT THE FUCK in a room of strangers when she sent me a text message telling me what she’d been prescribed. I mean, it heals the infection in that you forget about it.

Concussion is definitely getting better. The fractured cheekbone is actually more annoying because I have to work out when I can get my eyes checked - which I needed to do before I smashed my face.

Annoying but getting better. It really is a wait it out scenario. Sucks like hell.

I have a severe concussion that I’m still not out of. An hour after the incident that caused it, I called the Police because I was unsure of where my dad was because I’d picked him up for dinner and he’d wandered off from my place.

And you’re a cunt!

I always have to make sure nobody can see my screen when I open a Deadspin article when the headline is that someone is “large”.

He cheats at Scrabbleship too.

We’ve all been there, done that and got the t-shirt. Nobody is able to get the shirt on though.

Goals

To be fair, it is Wellington...

A nap is usually my reaction to golf as well.

Get back to work, Mr President.

Almost nobody reacts, as though this happens every day.

Not hockey, buuuuut:

At least now I know how to come out of the greys in a post on Deadspin. Luck into an article practically as soon as it’s posted.

Probably the only Jet likely to go to Disneyworld anytime soon

...and here is your contract.

If I’d been cut from the Jets I’d have had my hands up looking happy

The Olympic pole vaulting bronze medalist unquestionably went to school with her. Check her age.