Flash No Smash: Franchise Dreams Up in Ash as Critics Bash and Marvel Rival Rakes in More Spider-Man Cash

Here’s the headline, boys: “Flash Crash”

This sounds crazy, but once upon a time, Comic-Con was not a movie/television trailer delivery mechanism, but a place to meet comic creators, buy comics and nerd schwag and similar stuff.

None of that is impacted by either a writers or actors strike.

Yikes, Discovery is already gone after this season, Prodigy is gone, Picard is already done—-might be headed to another “RIP Star Trek” era.

WHAT. THE FUCK?!?

I’ve been going down the rabbit hole of mid-20th century corporate advertising newsreels, and fuck me they’re gold. The hammy acting and super-serious voiceovers.

“Don’t Look Up, Mother!” is my favorite installment in the Stallone/Getty “mom” franchise. 

All the Home Improvement kid actors had names that sound like 19th century presidents.

“Probe Launched”

Oh no its piloted by Steam Controller! /s

Waiting for her to appear on Star Trek as Lieutenant Pom Taris...

“I was trying to see if I could hit her with the phone”

“Yeah, I spent three nights in jail but it was totally worth it to see you just drop to your knees in anguish!”

This seems like it’d be a perfectly fine low-budget Italian action film from the 1980s that’s targeted entirely at the Times Square audience so I assume they’ve spent like $150 million on this at minimum. 

Im pretty sympathetic to these guys. I’m sure when they signed up for Game of Thrones they were assured the novels would be done before the show.

It was definitely a Spawn ad. I’ve got a few 100% legal and lawfully acquired I swear- digital copies of some of my favorite early Vertigo series that I re-read on the regular, and that ad pops up a few times in some of the issues. The tagline was something like “Your fists are your most powerful weapon. Especially…

“I should have guessed you weren’t a KISS fan when you were willing to dress up as Peter Criss. No one wants to be Peter Criss, Lois, not even Peter Criss!”

Kao Corporation has had an over-the-counter gel available for erectile disfunction for decades already.

Jerry, Hello!