Jeezus, that’s good mimicry. Like, A++ level stream-of-Trumpiness. How can you unhinge your mind like that, and is it hard to return to a linear timeline afterwards?

So one day, this old lady calls me—by the way, I met her later, very good looking for her age, not a pound overweight, very beautiful—she tells me the portions are too small. And I tell her, “That’s a terrible shame. That’s really a shame. I know Dave Thomas. I play racquetball with him all the time. He cheats all the…

The fact that there is a banner add on the side shilling some Repub who “believes in hope for America because of Jesus Christ” makes this comment so much better.

The truly stupid are those that take pride in not knowing things.

I can’t understand what he’s saying :( I know the individual words, because they’re easy words, but I don’t understand how they come together as a sentence, the narrative thread I’m supposed to follow...

“The bottom line: The Russians did commit active measures against our election in ’16, and we think they will do that in the future,” Mr. Conaway said. But, he added, “We disagree with the narrative that they were trying to help Trump.”

I loved the “And who can forget what Jose Altuve did?” part of Trump’s speech in that clip. Bitch, you did not watch the World Series. You do not have a fucking clue what you’re talking about.

The first 13 traitors emerge.

Curt Schilling- Dilfer is who Trumpkins aspire to be Schilling is who they really are

In that moment, Altuve was thinking to himself, “I wish the Dodgers had won.”

I want Sherman mic’d up so we can actually hear “FUCK YOUR NANOBUBBLES” during a live broadcast

Would that even do anything? It’d prob have to be underage male Democrats for his base to even bat an eyelash..

lol. “new best friend” like trump has any friends, let alone a best one.

Yeah, McCarron wasn’t going there just to be a bridge QB until the guy they draft in a few weeks is ready, and committing to him as the long-term starter would’ve meant a much bigger contract than he deserves. I like getting Taylor to take the snaps early, but that was the easy part. Now, they need to nail the pick…

pssst. he’s white

psst. he’s black.

Yeah. It’s incredible that both of the following are simultaneously true:

Also Duke Johnson is incredibly under-rated and under-utilized by Hue Jackson. Really like these moves. Also

Not in attendance:

I’m going full Ron Swanson “turf n turf” dinner.