In Japan, it’s to continue the illusion that PO—S isn’t a stupid, flailing Nazi who cannot emit a coherent sentence. The clips are whittled down to half-sentences sometimes, then “explained” as if they made something vaguely like human speech.

“No, Mr. President, they're not booing. They're saying Trooooooump."

Dear MAGA Losers With Small Penises:

Tough to be an MLB pitching coach when you refuse to work with lefties.

The dog is a more thoughtful and articulate speaker.

All of my bucks are spectacular, nobody has better bucks.

No buck.

Unfortunately, my senators are Ted Cruz and John Cornyn, so I could call literally one billion times per day and they wouldn’t vote to remove Trump from office. I could put loaded pistols in their mouths and they wouldn’t vote to remove Trump from office. I could invent time travel and bring them to witness every…

Nailed it.

I was gonna suck my thumb, but I got high

I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster, drank piña coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I get that day over and over and over?

+1 dicktooth

This is not normal. Please don't normalize it.

I love how scared and upset epic shits like you get over a little girl.

There’s zero negative consequences to helping our environment. There’s none at all, it’s all beneficial, yet these people are offended because they want to be offended. It’s pathetic.

You sweet summer child. 

The odds of him being into Q-anon bullshit are, like, 1:1, right?

I can’t wait to shit on McConnell’s grave.

Filed to: Metaphors