Wait, so his mom got married, lost her governor daddy’s famous last name, and then named her son “Dalton” just to eternally remind everyone her boy comes from an “important family?”

Yoenis Cespedes has reserved “LOOK AT MY CAR”

Tiger really needs to get a grip on his drug problem. Erratic driving led him to playing from the weeds, where he hit it in the fine white powder of the bunker. Hopefully he doesn’t splash out into the drink, and instead chases the dragon on to the green and drains a snake with his golf (8)ball.

Is he quoting Dustin Johnson?

Actually, it was Rando that Vince bones #23

I don’t know if there is anything I am less sympathetic to then a multi-millionaire professional golfer complaining that a course is too hard.

You’re joke was clever, except that the PGA of America is in no way involved with the US Open, so he would have needed to complain to an USGA official

+1 bag of Fudge Stripes

$20 says when he gets sworn in, Sessions cannot raise his right hand casually like a normal human.

What are you, my wife?

They don’t want to deal with the embarrassing backlash at local town halls.

You mean to tell me the GOP is doing something shady and underhanded to take away the rights and protections for the most vulnerable of our population? Color me surprised!

“consize” is not a word. Unless it is referring to the size of a lie the President tells. Please spell “CONCISE” correctly. Thank you.

Washington Wankers

His Incompetence, also a woman’s best defense against a potential Trump sexual assault.

I said the same thing this morning in another article. ;)

Dear President:

This smells like a “I’ve got a mistress problem” retirement. Anyone know the gossip?

Pepe’s is a safe space for the Alt-Reich.

Mr. Bannon, this is not Breitbart.