Thanks for dropping by, Bill.

Interesting. If they keep trading everyone, they might end up with the most innovative no-huddle offense in the league.

Good to see trans acceptance in Texas.

I’d let it go at this point, there’s really no need to badger him.

Yeah, he’s going to read this and get his feelings hurt.

Mejia: But I was set up, man!

If this is what they call no gay Thursday, I’d hate to be around for no sexual assault Wednesday.

Of course, the day after No Gay Thursday is known as Casual Biday.

The question really just came out wrong. What he meant to ask was:

How the fuck can I not get a job with ESPN.

goddamn.

She's definitely not the first Jackie to be familiar with brutal head shots.

Look how he sold that ponytail to the face. The man is a professional.

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

This apology is like olive oil—I’m not buying it because I don’t understand what first cold press means and also why does it cost so much and how can there be a difference between Italian and Greek olive oil if it is solely made from the extract of olives? And another thing, if you get olive oil on your shirt? You…

Hey look everybody, Andy Dalton made it to the 2nd round of something.

This summer, I vacationed in Vermont and everywhere I went there were signs that said “Grade A Maple Syrup.” So one afternoon, I went into one of the stores and took a few samples. I honestly didn’t know where to begin! The A-F scale seems played out, and I didn’t want to be pretentious about it, like Pitchfork, and…

Your tribute is a little late, Mookie. Ted Kennedy died more than six years ago.