I will use your halting efforts to mimic humanity as a beacon unto my feet.

I lol-ed at "Jade".

Oh, gee, really Mr. Whiskers? There's more to life than creepy attention from dumbshits who take things too seriously?

Back in the good old days we called it "exhaustion".

I am, thanks. Here's hoping you can experience happiness one of these days.

After doing some reading I don't even see the problem with dreadlocks.

I left four years ago. This is as good as it gets, sunshine.

Oh, hun. I'm so sorry you took it personally. I'm sure you're not the reason people want to leave. At least not most of them.

Apparently, 49% of the state joins me in understanding how much it sucks. Ask your neighbors, they'll fill you in.

Anecdotes aren't data. And your need to know my zipcode is getting creepy. Take a hint.

You just heard about it. Reality shows don't fly in Connecticut.

Snooty salespeople make me want to say things which will make them cry.

Homemade cider is the best damn thing on the face of the earth. And it ferments nicely. (Properly handled apples are very low on barnyard flavors.)

Why? You want to send me some cookies?

American Girl dolls in pre-K were what flipped my marshmallow wig. Some of those little girls had a dozen of them and they let my daughter know about it every day.

I have, and it isn't nearly as bad.

No. No. No. Probably not.

Connecticut doesn't really have a city.

I found both New York and Massachusetts to be far less concerned with these sorts of social scorecards.

Connecticut is gorgeous. However, it is the most competitive place on the face of the Earth. Conversation revolves around which school you attended, which car you drive, what clothes you wear, which neighborhood you live in, what schools your kids are applying to. It was maddening.