Reports out of Alouettes training camp say that Michael Sam was having a hard time adjusting to his role in the 12-man CFL defensive scheme, where teams generally employ a fifth defensive back.

The tow rope snapped, and the Disco broke down on it’s own a few miles further down the road.

Relevent.

No, his comment was, “Well, heck, if you wanna play games here! I’m workin’ with ya on this thing, but I... Okay, I’ll do a damned lot count!”

And for what? For a little bit of money. There’s more to life than a little money, you know. Don’tcha know that? And here ya are, and it’s a beautiful day. Well. I just don’t understand it.

The funny thing about moronic comments like yours is just how hopelessly blind you are to how dumb your comment was.

I get that banning fake colleges is better for the game, but I’m going to miss watching UNC.

This sucks for me, because I always drink and drive with the Power Glove.

Oh God.... Maryland drivers... fuck those guys...

It would have been hilarious if he had a huge checklist, adjusted his mirrors, tightened his belts, gave a big smile, then put it in gear and accidentally blasted through the front instead. Well, except for those people standing there.

UAB Football Is Back From The Dead. Now The Hard Part Begins.

This isn’t a fear, it’s a fucking certainty.

As a 33 year-old auto enthusiast and music lover, all I need is this:

* Need to leave house, but neighbor across street is sitting on front porch swing again. WORSE: Need to leave house, but judge-y SAHM next door is out talking to the neighbor on her front porch swing.

False. There are no DC residents, just people permanently too tired to try to commute home.

Dan Snyder seen dropping by your house.

Depends how they’re priced; if they’re cheap enough, I’ll get a four-pack. (My kids will love me forever and ever.)

Pretty sure it was not using a digital tire pressure gauge that caused him to slip. Given how BMW M4s are sensitive to a 1.5 p.s.i. difference in one wheel out of four, just imagine the effect such a difference would have in a bicycle with much higher pressures, and a contact patch of an inch or two. The board of…

How oddly appropriate that Snyder has chosen to leave behind him a trail of tiers.

When Dan Snyder, Horse Fucker, was reached for comment, he could not come to the phone because Dan Snyder was too busy fucking a horse, because Dan Snyder Fucks Horses.